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25 February 2005 @ 06:00 pm
Shoot Your Foot Off Event!!

So tomorrow I embark on a 4+ hour car ride (there) to go see Tristan (aka my little ray of sunshine) at college. I'd like to see the old sport but the car ride will kill. We always get lost driving into Keane and stuck in traffic taking the bridge back into NY. yargh. Bright side- Tristan, a comic book store and maybe a cheapie book store.

My mom repainted her house (and most of it is all just slight variations of the old shade) which seems to have intesified the feeling that nothing in this house is really to be touched. Maybe it's the furniture we're not supposed to sit on or the fact that we're not supposed to touch the walls but I don't know.

Snow day today in which I did nothing. Maybe I'll look up French culture or something for "the yoke in the youth".

Emo Boyfriend
Favourite Color
His Name Aaron
His Looks/Style Curly-ish brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin, labret pierced, tight tshirts, tight pants, skate shoes
How you met McDonald's
How he tells you he loves you Sits outside your house at 2 in the morning and plays guitar and sings (very well) "Only One" by Yellowcard
What he calls you Darlin'
How far you've gone everything
This quiz by _shelovedaboy - Taken 108586 Times.
New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes

Are they all named Aaron?
Current Mood: away
11 February 2005 @ 11:53 pm
I think my house is too cool- my hands (well, my right hand) has gone numb which i guess is better than teh full body shakes I had going on before, which generally mean a panic attack of some sorts is coming. Although, it came while I was talking to NickAlsionDanKevinRosebudNickAlisonDanKevin as they played "Pass the cell phone around and drink Slurpees while Courtney is in Mahwah".

Hopefully this works. World this is Dan, aka Kevin's little brother, with red hair, subtitled Sargeant Pepper


If not, I'll send you the picture because it's awesome.

Excerpts from Aesthetic Journal:
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I was watching the Boondock Saints but then I stopped it because it was starting to look dire and I've invested much too much in the characters to see them die. Rooco, sure, bite the dust but Murphy and Connor? Much too good looking and mission from God-y to die.

My mom still isn't home from the "Date that Isn't a Date" with the Asshole formerly refered to as John, or the man who pissed off every member of my extened family on my mom's side that attended Easter.

Stuff happened this week. I didn't do any homework. My sister failed two classes and I get to pick up. You know, the usual. I'm trying to get my mom into bright Eyes because there must be something I listen to that won't garner that tone of disgust/disapointment.
Current Music: The Shins- New Slang
04 February 2005 @ 05:22 pm
So rather than just elongating (by editing) my last post and put in all those things I didn't say, I'm going to post again, uselessly.

Conversation (of sorts) I wanted to post just so everyone could feel as bad as I did.
random acquaintance "Well, I can't call George Bush the greatest president yet but I know years from now they're going to call him that, in addition to being one of the most influential. His foreign policy alone is revolutionary"
No sarcasm. what.so.ever. I wanted to cry and by the time I could function enough to think of something to say, the moment had passed. I was tempted to kick him in the balls but I would have gotten in trouble and I don't think moral right would have swayed Mr. "Stick Inserted into Rectum" Vice Principal.

So someone needs to take me (between now and prom) to go look at thrift store prom dresses because I realized today a dress was a big. fat. waste of money.

Going to Party for Cancer tonight. It should be fun, you know, with the bad acoustics and bad bands. But some people should be good. So it's worth the five dollars. And my rampant sarcasm should help. The question is though, will I be roped into cleaning Hannah's house after people trash it for her "super secret my mom's in Boston so some people come over and party!" party that I was invited to but probably won't attend.

I doubt I'm going to do any homework this weekend other than arts high and my communism paper.
Current Music: Jets to Brazil- Orange Rhyming Dictionary
03 February 2005 @ 05:28 pm
So lately it's been like my email's vomiting college emails- and all from places I've never heard of- ALfred University? Hood College? Where the hell are you? And do you know how dirty your name(s) sound?

Other things to say but other times to say them.

Started a list of things I love vs. things I hate and couldn't stop. try it some time if you need to occupy yourself.

Everyone should come to the Party for Cancer, if only to see me. I can supply details.

I am now owned by my latest mix cd, and most expecially, this song:

Iron and Wine- Each Coming Night
Will you say when I’m gone away
"My lover came to me and we'd lay
In rooms unfamiliar but until now"

Will you say to them when I’m gone
"I loved your son for his sturdy arms
We both learned to cradle then live without"

Will you say when I’m gone away
'Your father’s body was judgement day
We both dove and rose to the riverside"

Will you say to me when I’m gone
"Your face has faded but lingers on
Because light strikes a deal with each coming night"
Current Mood: owned
Current Music: Iron and Wine- Each Coming Night
28 January 2005 @ 10:24 pm
So I'm not sure what it is, maybe it's because I read some more of Dylan's lyrics and much as I hate his voice I'm thinking of making the sacrifice and attempting again to listen to one of my mom's CDs. I know I "should" like him and most songs of his that I've read, on thier own, written out, are fine. His voice just... ugh.

I'm starting to recover from the Plague that Was. Although while I was sick, ignoring the naseau, the hacking cough, the random coming and going of the voice, the lightheadedness, and the runny nose and agravated sleeplessness (all which are still occuring to a lesser degree) I was given lots and lots of pity. And people did things for me. Which was nice.

I'm looking at an Irish grammer thing online and evidently it's not for beginners because I have no idea what I'm reading. I barely can pick apart grammer in German- I know what other people are saying, most of the time but reading about and understanding seems to be above my grasp. Maybe if I concentrated on one aspect of the site instead of looking up how to say "my the devil make a ladder out of your back bone and pick apples in hell" I could accomplish more.

I've decided now that when I go online and I don't automatically see anyone I want to talk to, I'm putting up an away message so leave messages on it because... maybe I actually can talk during those .03 times I'm online.

H.S.A work to do that I'm going to put off. This writing homework groove thing is weird to get back into. And there seems to be no single (other than Joe) extrovert in the group. I hope this isn't where my fellow gazelles tell me to stand strong and be the personality I want to see among us.

I like changing my answer and watching my chance at survival drop, as I go from "someone less efficent" (63 percent) to "someone easy to push" (47 persent) to .....
How long would you last in a zombie movie by zombi357
Weapon of choice
Friend who turned that you had to killmisconstrue
Chance you will survive: 74%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

In honor of Yolanda's untimely death, two rec's for me. Both ff.


Five Things That Don't Surprise Veronica Mars
Veronica Mars

To Find:
Groom Still Waiting at the Altar- Dylan
Each Coming Night- Iron and Wine
Are You Sure? Willie Nelson

A Trendy Survey I Ripped Off of Maggie
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Current Music: So Cool It's Square Mix
Title Information:
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Rus. Crim. Dir.

So my stomach feels queasy after mistakenly disgesting nachos with beef in them. Damn it. The last thing I want at a wake tomorrow is to be reguritating cow-squared (to those of you who don't, a lot of butchers or whatever you call them feel cow parts to other cows so they gain weight. enjoy your hamburger). Plus my lower back is all seized up, like the last disk and a half for something. I should start going to the trainer again.

I'm tired but don't want to sleep, if only because I continue to feel guilty that I'm not going to the funeral on Tuesday and part of me is happy because I wanted to interview S.M in Writer's Workshop and go to my German and my Physic's review. And I know that doesn't matter but then again I can't cry even for my mom and her sisters and I keep thinking how a year or two ago Grandma was asking to die.

But I made icing today. And I think Uncle Tommy used my mom's "write-on-icing" markers to draw a phallic symbol on the cake and that my mom was midly (at best) drunk during dinner although she seems soberer now.

I really want to puke.

Some writing, to make up for not really posting anything prophetic this weekend:
click here and gasp
Current Music: The Shins- New Slang
15 January 2005 @ 11:19 pm
If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call to make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
--Stephen Levine Poet, Author

When the body sinks into death, the essence of man is revealed. Man is a knot, a web, a mesh into which relationships are tied. Only those relationships matter. The body is an old crock that nobody will miss. I have never known a man to think of himself when dying. Never.
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I'm helping my mom find quotes for her eulogy on Tuesday.

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Current Music: Iron and Wine- (covering) Such Great Heights
14 January 2005 @ 04:51 pm
Have a good weekend filled with lots of dreams of pony parts and pieces stuffed in cans.

Love ya-


I could go into one of those "you know you're a Downing when your email ends like this" but I won't. It's too easy, even for me.

Quote of the Dady (tied- to Kevin both)
If you had two extra [fullsized] arms, what part of the body would they be growing from?
(for the record, each would be right under my bottom rib on each side of the rib cage, like a was a giant bug or something)

(prolouge: in an attempt to somehow gross out/silence the rest of my table, which consists of teenage males, I said something to the effect of "It sucks getting your period every month", to which Kevin replied)
That used to happen to me but I take medication for that now
resulting in a five minute period in which the table attempted to encourage my to spit yougurt through my nose.
However, because of that lunch period, I am owed and being taken out for a lunch on Monday at the Olive Garden (no school! score!)

if only I felt better (do you ehar that smallof my back and stomach and head? feel better... now would be preferable)And if I hadn't left my CD player at Dad's with American Idiot in inside.

I'm thinking I should change my IM. And I'm thinking later on Ill come back here, edit this, and throw down some links to some stuff I've written (all prose)
Current Music: The Shins- New Slang
12 January 2005 @ 01:48 pm
Today can be written off as a waste of a day. Went to the New Brunswick Court House with Mock Trial/Political Institute. Slept through case about age discrimination. Went Mexican. Couldn't bribe teachers or bus driver to turn around considering we would still have two periods to go and I had a Physics test I didn't study for. Not to mention no calculator or even a pencil. I go to class, he tells me to go to the library. So other than the fact I'm wearing a see through shirt and didn't realize it after I got to the Courthouse (hence the annoying 3/4 length sleeve shirt I'm wearing now) today was a good day.

Found my pants too.

Your Future According To Me by torrentialrain
College/JobNo Major/rich bastard
Number of Marriages2
Number of Kids10
Drug of ChoiceStraight Edge
Love of Your Lifeuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Arch Nemesiscp_journalcomic
Date of DeathApril 23, 2048
Happiness Level: 49%
Quiz created with MemeGen!
09 January 2005 @ 06:16 pm
Note one:
I am missing a pair of pants. There are jeans (like 99% of my attire) and are dark blue with that "weathered/ a little bit of dark brown" look to them. They are not free to a good home. I want my pants. Please? Has anyone found them?

Note two:
I've gone over to the...knitting side. That's right! I now knit. And I "have great tension". Go me. However, this hasn't stopped me from dropping stiches. I am continuing to make row after row without any purpose in mind. Perhaps I'll find that eventually.

Note three:
My sister just remarked she "feels like the Predator". My take is she shouldn't have crimped her hair. There's a reaosn why people look back at the 80s and wince. However, my sister seems to have not recieved the memo.

Note four:
I want a pony. Or maybe a puppy. Any givers?

Note five:
I used up all my gift certificates this weekened. I gorged at Barnes and Noble and Best Buy, resulting in the ownership of
*"Nine Stories" Salinger
*the Michael Chabon book that won (?) the Pulitzer and is about the Golden Age of Comic Books
*some "indy" book about the author discovering the Smiths and himself in the 80s which cost me 9.95 and may be written off as a waste of money considering I don't actually listen to the Smiths.
*"American Idiot" Green Day
*"This is a Long Dirve for Someone With Nothing to Think About" Modest Mouse
*"Four Minute Mile" The Get Up Kids
*The Garden State Soundtrack

Note Six:
I need to patent the idea of a "Praise Lamp", Similar to a heat lamp, one curls up underneath and are rewarded with the sound of how wonderful he or she is. That is, you curl up and someone tells you that you're a good person, a success, ect. ect., under the bathing light of a flouresant bulb.

Note Seven:
I was planning on reading the Bible this year. I have since ignored the handy scheadule printed out ofr me outlining what I should be reading. About that...

Note eight:
I'd like to start a lj-community (if there isn't one already) dedicated to the art of fact checking/ acking a question about something you don't know and being rewarded with the answer. Any comments? Thoughts? Ideas? Voodoo spells?

I think I'm caught up.
Just the facts ma'am.
Current Mood: head light
Current Music: achepella version of sweet child o'mine